Food as medicine

     Yesterday, my body was aching all over and I felt an extreme sensation of being broken inside and out. My head was throbbing all over my face and I felt like I had been hit by a bus. Was this a 24 hour flu? Or a cold coming on? Or was this an extreme case of detox? I mean, my diet has changed drastically with no sugar and very little caffeine. All to help suffocate this over growth in my system known as candida. Everybody has it, but I just have been living with it’s angry and evil over-grown twin for most of my life. Taming this beast has begun a massive detox in my life and an overall realization of my wholeness. 

For those of you who know me, I have been having chronic stomach issues and digestive problems for years. Basically everything I would eat would seem to trigger an immediate stomach ache response, which would in turn allow many emotions to surface. My diet over the years has shifted continually. If I wasn’t eating dairy for the month, the next month I would have completely changed my diet to only eating rice and then the month after, it would switch again to only veggies. I went to numerous western doctors since age 8, wondering if I had some sort of an extra-terrestrial taking my gut hostage. Perhaps an x-ray would be able to detect the inner workings of this alien living inside of me. No matter what test I took, It always came back normal. I was very healthy. Nothing showed up, but every-time I would eat, I would be in crippling pain. So, after a while, I stopped listening to the cry of my belly, and assumed this was pre-destined to be my life. As you can imagine; this was discouraging to say the least, and eating food became a nightmare for me. You can’t avoid eating....so this was a daily issue.

Recently, I had decided that I am far too health-centric to keep avoiding this obvious body communication. I practice yoga 6 days a week, and use only natural products....along with eating a wholesome clean diet. I was frustrated because I ate so healthy, and yet remained caught up in this web of illness. I was ready, to say the least, to take absolute control over my life. I went to see another doctor specialist, but it felt contrived and they just ended up telling me nothing was wrong and charged me an arm and a leg. They also told me to give up coffee (which was probably good advice) but she had no evidence that it would help heal me. Then, one day while having lunch with a friend, I came upon a flyer that read: “Are you ready to learn how to create delicious meals around your food restrictions without feeling sick or in pain? I can help you”. This flyer was speaking to me. I had been so used to eating food that made me sick, that I had no idea how to really help my self anymore. 

So, I reached out to this nutritionist. She gave me a free phone interview and I knew within the first meeting that this woman is not a nutritionist for the money. She is a genuinely amazing person who can and will heal my ailments because she cares. Her voice was tender and compassionate and it felt like I was speaking to a dear friend. She helped me to see that I could make food my medicine and begin to heal from the inside out. Her confidence is what appealed to me, but after meeting with her, I could see and feel that she is highly educated and extremely intuitive. She told me about my candida, and since following her guidance, I have been incredibly and miraculously PAIN FREE! Candida can show up in many ways to people if it is out of balance, but it was clear to her that I had been living with an over-growth for many years. And it is curable! 

I have only just begun my path to truly understanding how food can be my healer. But I am so unbelievably grateful to have this light shed on my situation. So often, we are pointed towards fixing our ailments by taking medication and masking our issues....when really, the problem is simply an imbalance in this incredibly intuitive system we have. Food can truly heal anything, if we take time to appreciate and understand it’s medicinal qualities. Though I am detoxing from this, I am on my way to complete health, and in that, I have found that everything is linked. I can and will no longer hide behind this ailment because the truth is, this amazing body that once was an enemy to me is now my greatest ally. 

Attention to detail

      Have you ever looked at the magnificent detail of a single leaf on a tree? The lines, the colors, the spotting? It is so incredible, it's as if a painter meticulously crafted each and every detail to perfection. I cannot believe how divine one single leaf can be. But then I think of all of existence. I start to ponder every detail in every single organism on this living earth. No two things are exactly the same at the molecular level. This, to me, is mind blowing. It is so insane how there is a universe inside of all of us, and we are all SO precious and unique.

      This reminds me, when I feel like I am not having the day I desired, and it is not going the way I planned,  I remember that each moment, like the details on the leaves, is special and will never be exactly the same ever again. So, even in the moments where life feels so unbelievably confusing, I can enjoy that feeling, cause it is unique to that moment...that precious, life-giving moment in time.

     I want to dedicate more time to noticing the absolute divinity in everything....and in everyone in my life. If every leaf is so beautifully crafted, how much more intricate is our entire body and existence? Sometimes, I feel so small, but then I remember how incredible each and every part of existence is, and that I am cradled by the connection to all things. Have a glorious, detailed day, friends. 

Noise

I’ve been grappling with a very deep sense of existence lately. I am beginning to discover the root of all suffering and and I am truly getting the sense that I am in control. I am not in control of the events that exist within my awareness, rather, I am in control of my perception. I can decide within each moment HOW I want to experience this.

Have you ever walked away from a situation feeling utterly helpless and confused, and then a few months later, you can see how incredible that lesson was? You can maybe even see how without that moment, you wouldn't have recognized how great the present moment is. Sometimes in the midst of our confusion, our minds become even louder and even more convincing. But our thoughts are merely judgements upon the situation that fuel our suffering. What if in the moments that noise and chaos collide, we could see it as an invitation to inquire within and to seek something beyond our own conditioning and habits? What if the space in between moments is our greatest opportunities to truly grow. 

I am grateful to have seen such beauty, excitement and light within my life...and yet at the same time, a sincere recognition of when I do not see these truths. But I am learning that it doesn’t matter IF I can see that the only purpose of our life is to love, it still remains true. My perception of this world is the only thing keeping me from OR allowing me to recognize completeness. But I can change that in each moment and in every breath. I am in awe of those who have found this ticket to life, but I am even grateful for the journey to understanding that I am already here, and I have never left.