It's getting hot in here.....

In the past few years, I have gotten really into my yoga practice. Not just any yoga. Hot yoga. Standing in a heated room up to 110 degrees while doing questionable poses. I mean, the kind where you feel like you might keel over and die in the middle of it. 

Why do I do it, you ask? 

I really don't know. 

I mean, every time I get there on the mat, I think.....oh man, not again! It's practically torture in some of these poses. The breathing is awkward, my shoulders hurt, and someone is talking at me the entire time! 

Complaints left and right fill my head. 

But then, I get it. Some sort of yogic light bulb illuminates inside of me. DING!

Maybe the uncomfortable sensations that I feel are supposed to be the worst for a reason. If I settle in to the most awful situation for that moment and breathe through it, it's a beautiful thing. 

Sometimes I cry during yoga. (I don't know if I should admit that haha) However, it is not because I am crying about anything specific. I cry because I am letting go. I go so deep in these positions that are ridiculously scary, and in doing that, I let go of my fear. I let go of all the tension holding me back. I let go with all of my might.

It's all so deliciously symbolic. In life, we struggle through the most uncomfortable situations. From every end of the spectrum; every day annoyances to utter heartbreak. And in those moments, if we can train our bodies, minds and souls to breathe through them, we can conquer anything. We don't have to be afraid anymore. We just have to breathe. 

Man cannot live by bread alone

As many of you know, I have an incredibly restrictive diet. After years of stomach issues, and strange tests and such, I found that nutrition is the the only thing that saves me. My diet right now is very difficult to follow, but I am grateful I live in a place like Portland ,where food allergies are very accepted. I mean, even the Subway has gluten- free and vegan options. I took this blood test called the ALCAT, which tested for all sorts of allergens in food, and what my body specifically reacted to. I have known for a few years that gluten was a problem, but I had no idea how may foods my body actually reacted to. I am very sensitive to every day common things like ; lemon, garlic, ginger, cantaloupe...yadayadayada. It's actually an extensive list, and I will spare you the long laundry list of items. But the funny thing is, I got tested last year before going on the ship, and my allergens were totally different. I could not have pineapple or carrots for a year. It's so weird. But it really made me realize how important variety in my diet is. If I ate the same things over and over again, eventually I would build up an intolerance to it. So, as much as I love  my almond milk smoothies and brown rice, I cannot eat them every day. I now pay such close attention to every ingredient I digest. I am very careful of everything I put in to my body, which is really important anyway. I have become a conscious eater. I still eat way too fast, but I am working on that as well. The thing is, many many people have food allergies. But they show up in other ways besides stomach issues. I have one friend who eats gluten and sleeps all day. Another friend who aches all over after eating a  sandwich. The important thing is to be aware of what you are eating and how it affects you. If you are one of those "lucky one's" who can eat anything and never has a problem, you should also be careful. Our bodies are acutely aware of our actions. If we treat our bodies with respect and care, they will treat us with the same.


    That also applies to things that we put on to our body. I recently found out that there is a chemical in hair products, lotions, sunscreens, and basically anything that rubs into your skin that is found in the formation of breast tumors. They are called Parabens, and they are really dangerous.  It makes sense though. If you think about it, whatever you rub on your skin soaks in to your skin. I used to be skeptical about all natural products (and I still always look to see if they really are) but now, I really want to make sure I watch for dangerous chemicals in my products. It's really difficult to find things without it that aren't super expensive, but why skimp on health? You could end up spending that money on medical bills anyway.

     This world is filled with free- radicals and even the air we breathe can give us cancer, so the best thing we can do is aim to take care of ourselves and the earth around us. Everything is connected. Everything is linked. We truly are what we eat.



Also- I know some of you have asked me to help them with some allergen free- diet tips, so if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me

Supportlandia

"A healthy soul is found only, when in the mirror of each soul the whole community finds its reflection, and when in the whole community the virtue of each one is living "- Rudolf Steiner

I have noticed in this place, this beautiful area of the earth called Portland, community is thriving.  It is at least aching to make a difference. I remember a previous blog I wrote this summer about how people aren't looking at each other anymore.....and how people really just need other people. Well, Portland has showed me that community really does exist.
       For a city, Portland has a very small town feel. I have only been here a few months, and I already see some of the same faces everywhere. The greatest feeling is when I meet someone out at a music event, and then see them getting groceries the next day. Instead of brushing me off as a crazy person when I try to figure out how I know them, they truly search as well. They want to know me too. I guess being on a ship for a year made me recognize the simple beauty of forming relationships. I haven't been settled down in one place for a long time, and it feels so good to make friendships that I can invest in. I can invest in this community.
    I have one amazing example how supportive this community is. Last night, Wild Mountain Bell had another show. We were the middle act of three, and the crowd was unbelievably gracious. We felt so welcomed. Before the show, I was wondering down Alberta street (a cute area of town near me) to look at the posters Caleb made for our upcoming show. I couldn't get in to the bar to see them, so I wandered into an adorable vintage clothing and boot shop. I saw a very southern floral blue dress on a mannequin that caught my eye to go inside. I started talking to the shop girl, and told her about my shows and how I liked the dress cause I could maybe wear it for one. It was a pleasant conversation, and she seemed very interested to come and support us sometime. I told her we were performing very close to her shop in a week, and I figured she may or may not be there. Then at our show, guess who walks in with a friend? She sat right in front and listened the whole time! I was very impressed by how supportive a complete stranger was to me. But the crazy thing is, I think we actually will be good friends. Turns out we have a ton of the same views on life :)
     I love how when you least expect it, you find truth in others around you. You find the same longings and love and passions. They may have different names for these feelings, but they are all based off of the ultimate yearning for peace, love and joy. That is why a supportive community is so important. When we can share those beautiful parts of our souls with each other,  we can start recognizing the ultimate oneness. Portland is a special community. I am so blessed to be a part of it.

fly free bird

I have had a lot of time to think this week. Being new to Portland with no real job (except babysitting the cute little ones) and a handful of friends (which is getting bigger) I have a ton of time to contemplate.

It's so nice.


For once in my life, I feel free. Free to live my life the way I choose. I can focus on the beauty of the moment, because I can actually live it. I find that the time I have had to be in peace, and hear my thoughts, has opened me up to a world of possibilities.

It's interesting though, the things I try to still hold on to never seem to work. It's only when I let go of every thought I had about what things are "supposed to be", that things really do fall in to place.

Perfectly.

This week, Wild Mountain Bell played a show at a local joint, and a very loving group of friends came to support us. At the end of our show, a guy who is dating one of our friends told us how he played upright bass and could hear a world of music going on in his head while listening to us.
We of course jumped on the opportunity to play with him...and let me tell you, it just added a whole new level of artistry that I never could have imagined. I didn't expect that. And because I let go of how I felt about the music,  it became something far more glorious.

I really struggle with patience and with allowing things to take this beautiful life course naturally. But I am learning. Being in Portland has already blessed me with so many possibilities. I am just going to observe now. And let life unfold as it will.

Perfectly

Fear is the lock, and laughter the key to your heart

4/9/2012

I had a dream last night that my shower was filled with these giant blue bugs that looked like a mix between a grasshopper and a butterfly. I was afraid to step into that shower, and so I went to the other shower in the house, and they were there as well. With no other options,  I stepped into the shower, and started the water, and these bugs opened their giant wings and were gloriously beautiful. I was touched by how colorful they were. It was magic. I woke up this morning, and decided to think about what my dream could have meant.

 I am by no means a dream reader, but I do think the bugs in my dream represented my fear.  When I stepped into the shower, with those big blue mysterious bugs in it, I was facing a fear. And in doing that, I saw the beauty in it. There are so many things I am afraid of. As humans, we naturally cling to fear in the absence of love. But I really want to step into the shower of my fears, and let the water wash it all away. I can no longer allow my life to be run by my fears. And sometimes, when you just jump wholeheartedly into it, your fears really do transform into the glorious and colorful butterfly that is real love.