the fortress

Thought I'd take a few moments to re-cap on the past month.
Since being home in sunny california, I've continued traveling.....of course. I don't think I can sit still!
After a marvelous christmas with my family( seeing my adorable nieces and baby nephew view christmas was the best part), I went on a cruise to Mexico with Shannon. Just four days after I got home from the cruise, I was going to be east coast bound for a week. First Nashville to visit Sam and his family, then to New York City to see some dear friends, and celebrate Roy's birthday.

I was so looking forward to actually visiting Nashville. I have been wanting to see what all the buzz was about since college, when Bonnie told me about how her uncle lived there, and LOVED it. So, I knew I would have similar feelings about it. The first night in Nashville was awesome. I stepped off the plane, and It smelled like the south. Is that weird to say....you know what I mean, when places have a smell? Well, Tennessee kind of smells like North Carolina. I was brought right back to the brick steps of Elon when I stepped into Nashville. I met Sam's family, and sang some tunes with them, and had some pretty killer mexican food....(even though it didn't measure up to actual mexican food....oh I sound like travel snob). Sam's Mom and Step Dad are both amazing musicians, like sam, and his mother, Whit Hill, also wrote an awesome book called "Not about Madonna" a little ode to her pre-icon roommate....and I loved it! :) The next day, Sam and I went down town and got to stare at some beautiful instruments. I was mesmerized by these mandolins hanging on the wall. I sat down, and began to play. The sound was impeccable, but it made me realize that just because an instrument is expensive, does not mean it plays better. I have to say, my inexpensive mandolins play pretty well! Thanks Dad for helping me fix em up! The friendly staff in these music stores truly brightened my day. I sure love that southern hospitality! When we got back home, I swear, Sam cooked up the most delicious gluten free meal. He cooked so many incredible meals, actually. I was kind of shocked. And I was wondering, was he trying to fatten me up for the harsh winter in New York? :) That night, his Mom wanted to take me to a bluegrass jam happening downtown at a fiddle shop. I thought, why not? Even though I didn't bring my mandolin (which was unusual, and sad) I figured I could sing with her. And so we learned a little bluegrass ditty to sing together. When we got there, there was a circle of men and women all playing instruments. And they all played them well! Several of them hopped on to different instruments. One guy was shredding on the guitar, then asked to play the stand up base, then took solo on the mandolin. My jaw dropped. I was able to play a beautiful extra mandolin they had in the shop, but I wasn't quite prepped to keep up with this kind of caliber of musicians. I was in awe. I mean, seriously, these musicians were top of the line. And this is what they do! They get together every week, and continue to get better together. I love the communal support I felt there. Even though I was far from being in their bracket, I felt encouraged to play. How cool. The next day, Sam and I wandered around town, and saw a typical country band play. There was an old man with white hair and a pony tail playing along with an awesome drummer and guitar player. He sounded like Willie Nelson. Then a girl who would be in the same category as Taylor Swift sang some whiny nasal tunes. Nothing wrong with her voice, she just had a very southern twang. We had a nice time exploring town that day. The final night in Nashville was my favorite. It showed me a little different side of town. Sam and I went to see a charming jazz singer and her band down at Fitzgeralds. She had long dreadlocks and an outfit that resembled something that Morticia Adams would sport. She was incredibly expressive, but gave all of the well deserved credit to the highly qualified musicians behind her. Sam is a Jazz drummer, and it was so great to see live Jazz with him. I looked over and asked, "are they good?" (even though I liked them, jazz musicians are particular...no offense) He assured me they were top of the line. I didn't want to say goodbye to such a great friend, but I knew that our paths would cross again. I had a splendid time in the ol' south, and I look forward to visiting again.

Now on to New York. You know how they say that true friends can go years without seeing each other, and they pick up right where they left off? Well, that definitely proved to be the case when I went to New York City. I held my dear friends Roy, Ashley and Johnny like no time had passed. We basically hadn't seen eachother since graduation! It was way too long. The laughter and the love that came out of that place roared like thunder. We were so happy to be reunited. And it was so nice to meet many of Roy's wonderful friends as well. The greatest part of seeing New York again, was seeing it through new eyes. The last time I was there, it was a stressful time. I was in the middle of tech for a school production, and a ton of us seniors got called in for a callback for Spring Awakening in the city. I had never been more overwhelmed by a situation. It definitely showed me my true calling is music, and maybe not the music AND theater. Though I have enjoyed my time in theater, and may go back to it, I know that writing and singing my own folk music, spreading the truth, and making my own rules is my favorite form of art. Anywho, I got to see several of my college friends, who have not changed a bit! Meeting Julianne and Annie for tea was like stepping into our college coffee shop, the Acorn, once again. I missed them, but time did not pass with us. We didn't see any shows, or spend any money (besides the one amazing meal we had), but we did spend quality time together catching up. On the last night I was in New York, I left the city and took a train to Long Island to see Ashley and her family. Oh how I love the Flanagans. Their house fills with joy and love and laughter. They are such good people. Ashley and I learned an old Bob Dylan song as a duet to sing for her parents 25th anniversary. It was so good to sing along with Ashley's buttery voice once again. The whole time in new york and Nashville was just what I needed to kick me into gear for moving to Portland.
This past 2 weeks, I have spent so much time working on my craft. I have written so much and my fingers are nice and callused from pounding on my mando. I can feel a burst of creative energy consuming my life right now. And I LOVE IT!!! It's so wonderful to be able to have this fortress to create.... speaking of fortress..... I met a really interesting musician on my way home from New York. He was sitting next to me, and then complimented me on my outfit (which I felt pretty grubby, so I was flattered) and he said I had a cool vibe. I mean....cool.....I guess haha. We began talking about our interests in music. I had seen that he had a guitar, and told him I played mandolin and sang. He was very interested in my career path, as he had chosen the same passion. He was on his way to NAMM ( National association of music merchants) and he was a producer and a songwriter. Anyway, it was interesting that we had so much in common. He was telling me about his studio name that he chose, and how it came about. He told me how he loved the tv show Smallville, which had several seasons about Superman before he became....well....super :) Superman would go to his fortress and continue to learn about his powers...until one day he became the greatest. The great Superman, as we know him. This man named his studio The Fortress, because he would work on his craft in there, and come out with greatness. I thought that was interesting, and it gave me some insight on what I am doing now. I have taken so much time to create something that I believe in. I spent months learning about myself and the beauty of this world on my ship contract, I racked up tons of life experience to relate to people with, and I have taken the time here to evaluate what is next for me. We all are capable of being the greatest. We just need to go back to our personal fortress from time to time.

New years revolution

12/31 2001 to the new year

I figured it would be the most appropriate, ringing in the new years on a ship, when I spent most of 2011 working at sea. Yesterday, I received a phone call, late at night that I would possibly be able to take my free cruise (which you are allowed to sign up for if you’ve worked for the company for so many months....I worked 11) if anyone were to drop out at the last minute. I thought to myself, why not? If they call me, why not be spontaneous and go on a cruise to Mexico? After being on a ship for 11 months though, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go near another ship for a while. Being on land has freed me.  Though I cherished my experience, I loved the life on land, and I am looking forward to making a life in Portland. However, I thought, when will be the next time I am offered a basically free cruise to Mexico? I shut out all of my thoughts, and packed my bags for yet another spontaneous life moment. 

Now, my friend Shannon (who is currently on break from pounding her books hard from grad school) and I decided we would go if they called us last minute. I ended up calling them back the day of to see if they had any last minute reservations cancelled. I mean, this was a special cruise, since it was the new years cruise. I was pretty sure no one would have wanted to cancel. But sure enough, I called, and they had a space for us. I told Shannon it was time to head on out. Thankfully, the only sure commitments I had was a dentist appointment and meeting up with good friends. I am lucky, they all understood how rare this opportunity is. 

We got to the terminal, and everything fell so smoothly. No questions asked. Everyone was super friendly, and I (for once) was a passenger on the ship. I don’t know if you would quite get how strange that feels. This meant, I have NO RULES! If I wanted to, I could walk around the Lido deck with only a bath robe on, I could wander into the swimming pool or jacuzzi, and I could make my own reservations....alright, I get that this may sound odd to some of you, but really, it’s the small things. After Shannon and I checked into our room, we went up to get some lunch, and I ran into a familiar face from the first ship I worked on. She was one of the Lido workers on the Prinsendam, and I was sure after I transfered ships, I would never see her again. I was lucky to see my friend Erza from indonesia once again. She was so happy to reunite, she reached over the counter to touch my hands :) I was filled with joy. I also saw a friend from the shops I knew on the Amsterdam and some bar staff who were familiar. So many memories flooded into my brain. 

I was a little emotional too. After spending most of my year on a ship, I started to remember all of those amazing people that touched my life so deeply, who I may not see again. Or, I may, who knows? I wandered around the stage, and felt like I was out of place....shouldn’t I be getting ready for a show? I went to the ocean bar, and expected to see a smiling face that I love so much. I half expected to run into my dear friends Ericka and Yulien on the ship while they were wandering around .

Shannon and I went to dinner at the Dining Room, and met some very interesting people already. We got to see some great entertainment too. Then, we went to the new years party and danced the night away. I am not sure what it was, but it was kind of amazing. It’s not that it was anything particularly special, but it meant alot for me to ring in the new year on a ship. I’ve really had the time of my life this past year, and I am grateful for all of it :) The year 2012 holds an exciting new adventure. I am so looking forward to writing more of my life as it comes. I am ready to take what I have learned and use it to enrich my life as well as others....will you join me in this adventure? :)

Jan 1 2012

It is indeed the year 2012. Everything that we have ever thought about 2012, may or may not be true...who knows. But we are making history, right now, in this first day of 2012. We changed our calenders, and though the gym floods with hopeful people, and others make the resolutions to be better at their life, we are left with some disappointments midway through the year. Must New Year’s always just be a novelty? Why not take the word Years.....and make it Days? Or better yet, New MOMENTS resolution. That would surely start a revolution....don’t you think? If we really lived in the moment, the way our hearts and souls truly desire? I think we are meant for great things, even bigger than we ever expected. But we have to stop living in the past, or even the future. Because the truth is, the only thing there ever is or was....is NOW.