The F word

Forgiveness can be just a word. But what is the true meaning?

Let me explain my interest in this topic today. I have apologized and have forgiven a ton of wrongs in my life....but until recently, I hadn’t truly discovered the deep and unconventional meaning of the word forgiveness.

As I was meditating on the most sacred rock in a canyon on the coast of California, I found some deeply rooted fear written in the core of my being.

I had told myself over and over again, that I had moved on from all that plagued me. Despite that assurance, I still aimed to reason with the unreasonable. I tried to grapple with all of the complexities of this life....internally and externally. Questions filled my spirit that I intuitively knew had no concrete answer. I felt like I was gripping on to a false reality in order to ease my busy mind and ego.

But that’s what our ego does. It strangles our ability to surrender. It thrives on the fact that we must try to reason with all of our questions in order to obtain answers. Our ego appears to be pretty strong sometimes. But really, it’s the greatest illusion in our minds. 

Our egos also love pain. Believe it or not....an ego cultivates more pain in order to grow. But the spirit within each of us seeks to surrender.

And that is the fullest definition of forgiveness; the conscious decision to surrender. The beauty of this life lies in the surrender to the unknown. Though we can verbally say that we forgive someone or something.....some things remain totally unresolved. The pain still exits within the realm of our hearts. It isn’t until we truly release the chains of our past and well thought out future that we can find peace in the now. We will continually go back to that pain that in some ways gives us comfort (unsettling, but true) until we actually let it all go. In releasing the hold on those moments or people that have wounded you, the real healing begins. 

I cannot speak for all of you, obviously. But in my experience, I can tell you that forgiveness is one of the greatest challenges known to man. It is accepting that the need to control your life is an illusion. It is the greatest task, but when you decide to let go of all of that pain within, and allow others to be free from that burden as well, love is the only thing that remains.

 To quote my favorite movie....as you all know :)

“When you forgive, you love, and when you love....god’s light shines through you”- ITW