Dear Diary....

“Keeping a journal has taught me that there is not so much new in your life as you sometimes think. When you re-read your journal you find out that your latest discovery is something you already found out five years ago. Still, it is true that one penetrates deeper and deeper into the same ideas and the same experiences.”---- Thomas Merton

I read this quote and it really resonated with me. I have been keeping a journal since the day after graduating college. Before that, I dabbled in some silly entries, doing the normal pre-teen “Dear diary, today I like this boy, but does he like me?” yadyadayada. But it wasn’t until my mother gave me the most beautifully embroidered journal for graduation that I really thought I would give this journaling thing a try. 

Journaling is more than just a notebook of daily events. To me, it is a stream of consciousness. A place to let go of every thought I have ever had and see it in a tangible form. If I see it on paper, I can really understand my thoughts. Instead of letting my feelings fester in my gut, they are released on paper. My journal is truly a sacred space for me to grapple with the noisy confusion of life. It is a conversation, to say the least. 

I find it so clever how the great trappist monk Thomas Merton explained how our lives go in circles. It’s so true. I look back on my first journal, and I see the same issues I am facing now. However, now, with the growth of my spirituality, my entries come from a place of understanding versus sheer frustration. I can see old habits trying to formulate again and take over. However, this time I can see the growth in myself and have mastered some control over my thoughts. It’s really magical. 

I also have seen some incredible things happen because of the immense thought and prayer I have put in to them. I will have written on a complicated topic in my journal, then see my prayers literally answered in such a beautiful way. My journal is the story of my life unfolding. I used to think my life was somewhat boring, until I saw my life on paper, realized and remembered. I feel blessed in so many ways that I can write down my thoughts and see them unfold into a life story. 

To be quite honest, those of you who have known me for a long period of time, know that I used to hate reading, and writing wasn’t my strong point. I still don’t consider myself a prolific writer, I just say what I feel is all. However, now I love to write. It’s mostly because of my journal. I don’t feel like I am writing to impress, rather to jump on the bandwagon of human connection. The more I say how I feel, the likeliness is that others are feeling it as well, or I allow myself to discover some new facets in this life I have been given. I am merely a vessel in this world. And all of you, my brothers and sisters. 

Journaling has been around for many many years. It is so sacred, if you allow it to be. If you haven’t started journaling, perhaps it’s not your thing, or perhaps you have never tried it. I recommend starting a journal for the sake of digging in to your deepest thoughts. Though it may be kind of scary at first, the discoveries are quite powerful.