Coluuuuuumbia

4/28/11

Cartagena, Columbia

For the very short amount of time allowed in this awesome port, I think I got what I needed to see out of it…at least a little taste. I would have to say my #1 impression of Columbia is that women here embrace the curves (if you’ve seen Modern Family, I think you would get what I mean). In old town, where me and a few people spent the day, there is literally a giant statue of a naked woman laying on her side…..a LARGE and in charge naked woman. It’s awesome. I have a few pictures of me right by the giant ass (sorry for not being more pc, but this is really the only word that describes it haha) …

Which reminds me of a side note. Wayne Newton told the funniest joke about a butt and I really want to try to tell it…let’s see. So Wayne was hanging out with his buddy at a bbq in Vegas, and his buddy turned to him and said “yo Wayne, check out the ass on my wife, her butt is bigger than this new grill I bought”…and Wayne looks away and feels really weird about the comment. Apparently his friend had no tact at all. But women hear everything, and his wife turned around and said, “What did you say” and he repeated exactly what he said to her face. She was mad, but continued to host the party….. later on, the group of people were together outside, enjoying some beers, and the husband hinted at potentially getting some action tonight, and the wife gave it back to him and said, “are you kidding me, you think I’m going to heat up my BIG ASS GRILL for one TINY LITTLE WEENY???”  I died….and Wayne Newton was telling the joke, so it was even funnier. By the way, the show was so much fun, and he really does look exactly like he did in Vegas Vacation, filmed 15 years ago. Haha, but for reals, he is so down to earth and I had an amazing time…..

Anywho, back to Columbia. A few of us took a taxi to old town, because the rest of town was just not as nice. In the terminal, there were tons of wild life, parrots, iguanas and sloths. That was really cool. But old town was awesome. The colors were just phenomenal. There were flowers everywhere and the buildings were all shaped and colored differently. There was also a ton of modern art all around. We walked around to take pictures of the town, and some guy started to follow us so we would shop in his jewelry store, we kindly declined, but wanted chips and salsa. So the guy took us to his brother’s restaurant. It was hilarious, we sat down and every 5 seconds, someone else came up to us to sell us something. One guy came up with paintings he “sketched” himself…and they looked so real and amazing, I bought one for 10 dollars, and right as I did that, Heather pointed out that the guy behind him drew the exact same photo….ahhh I was so ripped off. But whatever, he must really need the money and the sketch is cool, but it’s a copy for sure. Haha. There was also this guy who had a hat gimmick, where he was molding this red hat a thousand ways and saying really funny things in Spanish….mostly we could not understand him, but he was so goofy. We never got any chips and salsa, but we did get a show and plenty of street vendors surrounding us at our table. It was definitely a fun day.

Today we are cruising the Panama Canal and we have our show H20 tonight. It should be fun….it’s a really energetic show that I think this party crowd will enjoy. The next port day we are in Costa Rica, and the day after that Nicaragua, here’s to hoping we have some time there!