People who need people

Alright guys,
    I am not here to whine or make judgments on people, but this is something that has been bothering me for a while and it took today for me to experientially understand something that I already knew was quite a problem in today's p.c society.
Today, my friend Shannon and I took this gorgeous day as an opportunity to see the beach. Naturally, we took our beach bums over to downtown Laguna. Now, Laguna beach has it's friendly people (usually the barefoot millionaire surfer hippies), but today, I encountered some very distant and quite sour people. Now, I am by no means the perfect model citizen, but today I was feeling especially inclined to smile at every person who passed. Not one person looked at me. Everyone thought I was odd and continued walking. I said, Hi. and....crickets. Just being friendly. You would think I was dressed as a criminal with a hand gun showing by the way people were looking at me. But no, I was wearing a floral skirt and cowboy boots (real scary stuff). Shannon and I started talking about how sad it is that alot of people don't acknowledge others around them in every day life. Not all people are like this, but it seems like this is a sad epidemic. What happened to the smiles at strangers? What happened to the general sweetness of citizens?
After our chat on how silly it is that people don't look at you when you are near them, Shannon and I wandered to my favorite vegan restaurant in Laguna, called the Stand, and got ourselves some frozen fruit soft serve. There was a woman near The Stand who had two very large bull dogs that she was casually walking back to her work place. One of the drooling pups took took off as soon as it's collar came undone and waddled her fat self into into the street and back into The Stand. The woman, was screaming, NO!!!, clearly angry that she had no control of her dog. When the dog got into the Stand, the owner slipped and fell, trying to regain some control of the situation. People just watched her struggle until she said, "can somebody help me"? She took a hard fall, but I grabbed her dog for her while she tried to get up. Then, people started to ask her if she needed help. She didn't want to take it. She was clearly embarrassed at her fall and large scene she created. The dog continued to slip...and this woman was tearing up. She didn't want to be helped either. She needed people to help her gain some control, but she couldn't accept.
As we walked away from the uncomfortable vibes we got, both from her, and the bystanders, I thought to myself, jeeze, that woman was having a bad day. She fell pretty hard and people barely acknowledged her. It was only when she begged for help that people (including myself) felt appropriate to help her. Then, when I did help her, and others offered, she was too embarrassed to accept. I walked away, and I got an opportunity to actually understand what it felt like to be that woman. My slick cowboy boots don't do well on wet concrete, so I slipped and fell elbows first. BAM! I was bleeding pretty profusely, and I looked around, and not one person (besides shannon) even asked me if I was ok. There was a woman nearby, who looked at me, then looked away. There was a group of young boys who just stared at me from a distance. The only person who looked at me was a curly haired three year old boy who knew no social boundaries. He surely had tears in his eyes, cause he saw that I was hurt. Kids are very perceptive.


Perhaps this is due to the digital age that we live in. People are so plugged into their gadgets, that we rarely have the need to look at each other or interact. 90% of our interaction comes from online communication. I don't even need a person to check me out at the grocery store, the movie theaters, or any phone transaction. We have machines to do that. Here is the danger in this folks. We need each other. We need to look at one another more. Have you ever noticed how much a simple gesture of kindness or a smile from another human being completely changes your outlook? It's because we DO need to feel that love. I think we have lost some of that in the way we relate to people. Now, I am going to challenge myself (and others, if you dare to be a little bit weird) to make eye contact with people. To smile at passer-bys. To buy a coffee for the person behind you in line. Let's be neighbors. Let's invest in our communities. In some cases, you have to be cautious of strangers, but really people.....are you not going to walk across the street because you are afraid of getting hit by a car? Let's get rid of the fear of being humiliated. I'm ok with being weird, if it means we can re-connect.

My Mando and I

Here's the thing. I am never going to stop exploring this amazing world we have here. I mean, it's kind of incredible how each day can be new, filled with fantastic moments if you just open your heart to it. I thought to myself, you know, even though I am not traveling the deep blue anymore....my locations are still exciting. I am still traveling on land. I may settle down for a bit, but I will never stop exploring. 

I wanted to take a moment to talk about my Mandolin. I travel, and I take my mandolin with me. I can't remember the last trip that I didn't take it with me. It has become a part of me (cheesy, but true). I find that my mandolin case is getting torn and tattered. My fingers are developing hard calluses, and I can hear the mandolin accent in every piece of music using this fine instrument. I admire talented musicians like Chris Thile ( from Nickel Creek and Punch Brothers) who make it their lives to respect this tiny but mighty noise maker. 

I was thinking back to when I first began to play my mandolin. Why did I even start? It was the summer of my senior year of high school. Some very old friends of the family invited me and my family up to their ranch in Idaho to see the music festival on the lawn that happens every year. I wasn't expecting much. I mean, Idaho? I had never been and I had never thought of going. But when we got there, it was something magical. The sheer beauty of the place alone took my breath away. I was able to respect the nature, and not feel like I was overwhelmed by the good ol' California traffic. The festival blew me away. I was young, and I didn't know much good music yet, but I did feel a serious connection to the musicians. How they stood up there and shared their lives through a single song. How they conveyed so much passion that made people sing along and dance for joy. They all looked so happy. I wanted that. I want that. But then, Nickel Creek, who I never heard of before, came on the stage and took the concert to a whole new level. I stared at Chris Thile play his mandolin at lightning speed. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He was a genius. I remember not even getting up to pee, I loved it so much. Their gorgeous harmonies and interaction with the audience made my heart flutter. This was the first time I knew I wanted to pursue music. As a musician and a singer.

After that summer, my father bought his dream ranch up there, and we went to as many festivals during the summer as we could. I sometimes couldn't make it, but I would always discover new artists by my mother getting the CDS. Many incredible artists have played there. To name a few Brett Dennen, Brandi Carlile, Ryan Adams , Wynonna Judd and many more. I have been inspired by this festival. 

But the mandolin came into my life about 2 years later. My sophomore year of college. My father actually fixed up this mandolin for himself because of seeing Nickel Creek at the festival. I remember admiring the details of the F-shaped epiphone (after the gibson), with it's stunning woodwork and impeccable cut through sound. I knew my brothers and dad were the talented ones on guitar and instruments. I tried to pick up the guitar, but truth be told, I have carny hands. But as my dad was fixing this delicate instrument up, I picked it up, only to find that I loved pretending to play it. My dad taught me a few basic 2 finger chords, and I stuck with it. That christmas, my dad gave me the mandolin. And I have been playing it every single day since then. I still have not taken a proper lesson, but I feel it, and I know I want to be better. I get a thrill when I am singing and playing this magnificent piece of art. How can something so small, be so loud and yet gentle? I am going to do this. With my band mate Jessica, one day, I will perform, in honor of beautiful music and dreams, on that same stage that sparked this fire in me. Here's to Portland first, then traveling again. With my Mando. 

Into thin air-ish

11/29/11 

Honolulu, Hawaii.

So I was on IPM today....and it was really hard to find the time to get off the boat, since we just had 5 straight (and incredibly rocky) sea days...and after honolulu, 5 more sea days to go. As you can see, getting off the ship was very important to many. Even though I could not get off the ship during the day, I was productive, I made some phone calls (yay USA), I did some internetting, and I ran on sky deck. So, I felt like I did something. Although, I have to admit, even though I have been to hawaii before, I really wanted to go sky-diving like many of the crew members did. What a way to end the contract. I know I will sky-dive one day :) In fact, a few of the guests on board are from Portland, and when Jess and I visit soon, we will meet up with them, and maybe go skydiving there! Wouldn’t that be a thrill? (sorry mom, don’t freak out!!) 

Well, after some people released me to get off the boat for a while, Sam and I went to get some Mexican food close the the port. It was great, and the sunset was to die for. Then, I met up with Jess and the other Sam and decided to go to waikiki beach. It was very crowded when we got there, and reminded me alot of Newport Beach. Very swanky and tons of shopping opportunities. There was a group of street entertainers who gathered up a large crowd, only to refuse to perform since the energy wasn’t strong enough.....we told them, “hey, we were cheering” and they said “not loud enough!”. So we walked away disappointed we didn’t get a show, AND they were rude. We then got a flyer to get a massage, but when we got there, they were also unclear about the price, and we apparently disappointed them too. Then, we were pretty annoyed at how people were acting towards us, and we decided in order to blow off some steam, we would shoot some guns.....no really. I am an official SWAT club member ( I have a card and all)! But here’s the real deal, I don’t like guns, and I sure as heck don’t like shooting them. I thought perhaps I may feel empowered after shooting a rifle and a small hand gun, but instead I was indifferent. Plus, the guide teaching us was very rude as well, making it seem like I was the worst student he ever had. I didn’t hit the target, but I continually hit the same wrong spot 3 times! Off the target, but impressive? I guess it was an experience, and since we didn’t sky dive, we got another dangerous thrill. (Don’t  worry, not a scratch on me!)

Well everyone, with one day left of my life at sea, I thought I would wrap things up a bit. I am not sure what is going to happen with me after this contract ends. It all seems so abrupt. The ship literally drops me off near my home in LA, and I get to see my lovely family. I have no weight limit on my luggage since I am not flying, so I have packed these suckers so ridiculously tight, they may pop open!  Like I said, I don’t know where I’m going exactly or what my life holds for me next. Of course I have tentative plans (some that I have been dreaming of for years now) and I hope to move somewhere that nurtures creativity (portland). But really, I only have myself and this moment to live. I am not planning too much because if there is one major lesson I have learned on this journey, it’s “live in the moment”. Every day I was in a new place, there were tons of new experiences to be had, and the only thing I could do was seize each day. When I get home, I will take all this personal growth I have had, and start a life on land. Sounds strange to say, but it’s something I am so longing for. I would love to smell the freshly brewed coffee in the morning. To hear the sound of birds chirping in the sunlight early in the morning. Just to have some familiarity, simple things, but all the glory of being on land. I have treasured the time spent on this trip, and I sure will miss some of my ship folk, but I know this journey has been important to me, and I will never forget a moment of it.